What does the Super Bowl and losing your virginity have in common?
As a start, participating in Super Bowl fandom and losing one’s virginity is all about the “experience”, no matter how painful or wonderful the outcome is. There’s a lot of hype and armchair commentary leading up to both.
Fireworks over MetLife Stadium before Super Bowl XLVII. (AP photo/Seth Wenig)
Both nights open with fireworks and a “coin toss” to determine who wins the starting kick off, or the “opening advantage.” The big question is, “will a field goal be scored?” There’s no real knowing. It’s all conjecture and a lot of primping before hand.
As with the 80,000 fans in MetLife stadium, losing your innocence usually occurs in an uncomfortable awkward place versus your own warm bedroom. Anticipation and enthusiasm for the pending event dulls the senses. Cold weather, noise, and lack of vision (literal or physical), have no bearing on the decision to “go all the way.” You’re usually pumped up on alcohol and food like the thousands of freezing fans who attended Super Bowl XLVII.
Commercial breaks or time outs, can be likened to the night you kiss virginity good-by. Everyone takes at least one unnecessary bathroom run for a moment of silence or to get sideline coaching. Looking in the mirror you knew that wisdom was not in play on that fated night. It just had to happen. Not much different than the equally conflicted message from Budweiser. ”Stay in the Game. Drink Responsibly.” Sounds like your subconscious telling you, “Don’t worry. Use a condom and all will be well in the world.
Super Bowl humor, animal husbandry and sex, all came together beautifully in the Silverado Chevy ad. The 30-second spot featured a rugged looking guy transporting a bull, or “eligible bachelor,” to a pen of “baited breath lonely hearts,” referring to the cows, or bachelorettes. As in high school, the love mobile (with enough power to pull a bull in a trailer) seemingly offered a means to the end? Again as in high school, and in this commercial, the alpha male message obscured the cool ride. I had to look closely to see if the ad was promoting the Plan B morning-after pill or something else. Oh yah….it was a truck
In summary, the NFL Experience leading up to Super Bowl XLVII was better than the game itself. I tried to watch all four quarters, but just couldn’t convince myself to “do it”. Besides, there was no eye candy egging me on. I may have succumbed if there was somebody to goggle at, like David Beckham running the field in soccer shorts. Unlucky me, he’s only in commercials. I guess I’ll have to wait another year to “go all the way.”
Yours truly,
Julie, Super Bowl Virgin
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